Reasons of Divorce: A Woman's Perspective

According to a recent sociological survey, women are more prone to divorce than men. This figure can be calculated at eight times more than men.

Divorce: Legal jargon defines divorce as a formal legal separation whereby both parties sever all marital ties. The divorce is finalised after both the spouses reach an agreement about all marital issues such as child custody, division of fixed and liquid assets. The agreement can be mutual or forced.

Reasons of Divorce Among Women

Infidelity: Both male and female spouse can commit infidelity. Social psychology argues that women are relationship- oriented. Women are more committed and loyal. They are more prone to sharing. Women understand familial obligations and are loyal in nature. This is why women are more prone to visiting marriage counsellors. They believe that frank, open discussion coupled with professional guidance can solve marital problems.

Women hold that one should not engage in sexual liaisons outside marriage. This is true even if the marriage is in trouble. Consequently, women have a high threshold of conscience. They consider family responsibilities, commitment and values to be of prime importance. And they feel that the male partner in the marriage should also practice this ideology.

But this seldom happens. Men are selfish in nature. They give more importance to their own sexual and romantic needs. Hence they are unable to adjust to changing marital circumstances. Men often expect the same sexual love even after a long marital relationship. This perception is not realistic. The birth of children, change of job and house usually causes priorities to change. This does not mean that marital love fades. It simply changes form.

They are more prone to involve themselves in relationships outside marriage. Men have a low threshold of conscience and commitment. Their perspective holds that they have the license to indulge in extramarital affairs if unfulfilled sexually in marriage.

Men want and demand the same sexual attention as in the first years of marriage. Women, on the other hand accept this change. Their priorities change accordingly. Family responsibilities and need gain more prominence their own.

Thus the basic aspect of male and female personalities leads them to infidelity. It is more in men. And when it happens, the woman cannot understand why the man had to do it. Infidelity breaks up marriages. Men are more prone to infidelity than women. It forms one of the prominent reasons of divorce.

Abuse: Women partners usually are victims of abusive behaviour in marriages. One seldom finds the wife physically abusing the husband. Social psychology holds that women are not physically endowed to engage in sexual and physically abusive behaviour.

Men, on the other hand, perceive abuse as a form of control exertion. Today, women are being educated. They are believed to be on an equal footing with man. Thus, abuse in marriages becomes a way of releasing frustration. Men feel threatened by the woman. Marriage offers them the perfect solace of domination. Abuse usually begins as possessive love and control. If not nipped in infancy, abuse can become fatal. Behaviouras of kicking, pushing, beating with blunt instruments and mutilation of private parts are forms of physical abuse.

What starts as physical abuse slowly converts into emotional and sexual abuse. Men find it easy to overpower women sexually. Thus, sexual abuse is rampant in marriages. Emotional abuse is subtle and invisible in nature. It attacks the psyche of the woman eroding her self-confidence.

Abuse forms a major reason of divorce. According to social organisation of Relate, women seek divorce usually on the grounds of physical and emotional abuse. Abused wives file more than 60% of divorce petitions.

Reluctance to Share Responsibilities: The winds of social change are sweeping every society. Women today expect and demand an equal and fair share in all marital matters. This includes finances, debt repayments, tax benefits and even choosing holiday spots. They want the male partners to accept them as equal partners in the marriage.

They are unwilling to be doormats. They demand that men share an equal responsibility of child care, housework and family errands. Men usually refuse to share any kind of housework. This usually leads to arguments and distancing among the partners. Men think that women should remain relegated to the house. They should not expect and demand too much. Women perceive their male partner to be stubborn and selfish.

Usually, this reluctance takes on grave proportions when marriage counselling fails. Women are prone to divorcing men on this issue. Men have to change their attitude and perception to make marriages last. Society has changed; familial goals and roles have changed. This means that expectations of women from men have to change too.

Article Source: http://www.myaddirectory.com

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk

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