Language Alert! Help Your Kids To Be Positive

'I felt great until I walked into the classroom - then it all went wrong!'

You may think these are the words of a teacher. But no, it was a high school student just before an important exam. She'd worked hard. A good result would mean a place in college, so she'd made sure she was in the right frame of mind.

Then she blew it. She walked into the classroom where students were gathering before going to the exam hall, and allowed herself to be influenced by them.

She told me the atmosphere in the room was charged with negativity. People were sitting around with gloomy faces, some were wringing their hands and pacing up and down. Others were muttering such comments as: 'I'm going to fail, I just know it!' 'This is going to be SO hard!' 'Mr Brown said we've nobody to blame but ourselves.' 'Yeah, it's been an easy paper the last two years. They're bound to toughen up this year.'

So it went on. And the girl in question allowed herself to be sucked under. She reported a feeling of nausea as the confidence drained from her.

Fortunately, she passed the exam, but she and her family and teachers were disappointed that she never gained the high grade expected of her.

However, she learned two very important lessons that day: * Negative language produces negative results * If we're not careful we can easily become 'infected' by the negativity of others.

Our experience in any situation is largely influenced by our attitude to it, (i.e. the way we FEEL, the way we react emotionally to the situation).

Our thoughts are conditioned by our attitude, and our speech patterns follow from that. But then our speech affects our next thoughts, so it can be a vicious circle!

And, as we've seen, other people's language can have an effect on us - if we let it! A common scenario for parents and teachers here in the UK is to hear students say 'I'm stuck!' when doing class or home study. All that's happening is that the student has come up against a challenge and hasn't yet found a solution.

Often parents will automatically say, 'Ask your teacher.' Nothing wrong with that, is there?

But what's the effect of saying 'I'm stuck'?

What message does that send to the brain?

In my teaching I have monitored this many times, all with similar results. When I hear a student claim to be 'stuck', I usually say 'I'll see you in a few minutes', then I let them get on with it.

When other kids are in a similar situation but say 'I need help, please', I'll say the same to them.

This is where it gets interesting! The ones who have claimed to be 'stuck' will inevitably sit and wait for the teacher. They have sent a clear message to their brains: 'Have a rest, there's nothing more we can do'.

Yet the students who saw themselves as 'needing help' have sent their brains a different message: 'No time for a rest, help is on the way!' So they keep working.

See how language works?

It's worth mentioning that in my classes it's only new students who claim to be stuck. They soon respond to the message that since they're not trees or bushes, they are not 'stuck'!

This is not a case of glossing over reality. There are infinite ways of interpreting reality, and our language can make our experience difficult or manageable - it's up to us.

How many times have you heard someone say they'd like to write a book? I hear it all the time. On one occasion the person followed up with 'but I don't expect I will.'

She wasn't pleased at my reply: 'No, I don't think you ever will.'

However, we talked about negative language, and she was grateful for the advice. As Henry Ford so aptly put it: 'If you think you can't - you're right!'

So how can we, as parents, help in our child's education and in life in general?

We can help them with their language, and we can lead by example by only using positive words ourselves. It won't take them long to realise that 'I can't stand Geography!' will actually hold back their progress.

'Right, I'll be more positive about it!' will bring results.

So far, so good. But what about the negative language of others, which can so easily throw our kids off guard?

The following may sound far-fetched, but I can assure you it works!

The best thing to do when you come up against negative language or gestures is to remove yourself. But if that's not possible, imagine you're inside a huge bubble or jar, which moves around with you.

Tell yourself that your positive contributions can go out and affect others, but their negative comments bounce off and don't get near you.

Take it for a test drive. You'll like it

Enjoy being a parent!

Article Source: http://www.myaddirectory.com

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