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Most people these days are so caught up in their daily schedule that they fail to realize what is happening to their marriage, whether it is still alive or dead. When their spouse files for a divorce, they are just shocked because they didn’t even realize that their marriage was breaking up. The basic rule in a marriage is to have time or to make time for each other. This is lacking everywhere. When you make time for each other, you know what the other person feels about you. Marriage is all about giving and taking with each other. If you keep this basic rule in mind, you can make a big difference to your marriage. Disadvantages of a Divorce After a divorce, the couple goes through a lot of emotional turmoil. They also get depressed it takes a long time to get back to normal. More than the couple, the worst sufferers in a divorce are the children. The agony and the mental torture that they go through aren’t justified at their stage in life. They are supposed to enjoy life as children, play happily, study and enjoy their childhood. In most cases, divorce destroys this all as it destroys the family. The couple also faces a lot of emotional turmoil. Many couples feel at a later stage if the divorce was really necessary. They go through so much of depression and loneliness that they are unable to continue with their life in the same way. What Can You Do About It? The first thing you or your spouse need to do when you think of filing for a divorce is to sit down with each other. Discuss the real, true reason for the same and whether anything can be done to save the marriage. If both sincerely sit and talk it out, there is definitely a way to save the marriage. The main reason for a divorce is usually not a very serious reason. It is just that the resentment has been allowed to grow, unchecked, over a period of time. Recognizing the Reason First and foremost, make time for each other. Once the initial romance wears off, each one is carried away by his or her work commitments and fails to spend quality time with the other. Have you suddenly stopped going out with each other? Do you feel indifferent towards your partner or vice versa? Do you keep fighting all the time? Do you hate going home after work? Then, it is time to sit down and discuss things seriously with your partner. Be alert and attentive to your spouse’s emotions and feelings. See to it that you keep each other happy. If you find any slight change in his/her behavioral pattern, please recognize it immediately and try to find out the reason for the same. Problems in marriages need to be fixed then and there and not allowed to grow. Taking Steps to Resolve the Same The main reason one looks outside the marriage for emotional and physical needs (Having an affair, in other words) is because one is unable to get the same at home. There is no better solution to this than making a rule at home that once or twice a week the family spends time with each other and catches up with each other’s problems or progress at work and otherwise. Women are very emotional and take words very seriously. Men should keep this in mind and be careful about the words that they use. Men generally expect little things from their wife and get hurt if they don’t do it. Women need to be receptive to their husband’s feelings and requirements and do accordingly. Children If you have children and are filing for a divorce, at least stop and think for the children’s sake. No matter what you do and how you care for them after divorce, things will never be the same for them. Children need both father and mother at home to care for them and love them. Divorce destroys their home and their dreams. If you don’t have children, then go ahead and have them. There is no better way to revive a marriage than this. The child you have is your own, the result of your love and marriage, your own flesh and blood. There is definitely a better bonding because of children. Thus, if you really want to make your marriage work, you can definitely do it. If you are unable to do it and don’t know how to proceed, there are marriage counselors that assist couples whose marriage is breaking up. They, as a third party listening to grievances will be able to address issues better and provide a solution accordingly. If you feel your marriage is on the verge of breaking, stop all other work, take time off and spend quality time with your family. Go out on a picnic or a vacation and revive it. You will realize what you will miss if you get divorced.
Article Source: http://www.myaddirectory.com
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com
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