In Love or War

After all, everything’s fair in love and war, and a divorce is a bit of both. It gets all the more exciting where details of a lost love accompany the present war. But if you were in the same set of shoes that Mick Jagger, Heather Mills, Princess Diana were wearing, would you still feel so comfortable? Probably not. But, then, the whole idea is that they deserved it because they brought it upon themselves, and wanted to encash the advantages of a publicly messy divorce. On the other hand, if you delve deeper, you would perhaps see that all of it was not planned with PR and publicity in mind. That is not just because they are celebrities and will be dogged by the media at every step they take, but also because a high-voltage messy, angry divorce case is likely to go out of hands at any point of time. The only people who would keep their smiles still on would be the lawyers, as the cash register rings merrily with the mounting bills.

The Disadvantages of a Loud Divorce

We are not suggesting that you exercise Spartan calm and forbearance at all times. But you could do with a public screaming match. A loud and noisy court case is exactly equivalent to that.

• First of all, why do you want to throw your hard-earned money away? Even if you are really rich, there is no concept such as ‘enough money’. And a massive divorce case is such a wastage of the money because you are going to spend it on making yourself more unhappy. It would be better to go for a holiday in the tropics after the divorce is done and spend it on making yourself feel better. Remember that you are being charged for all those hours on the phone and in meetings as you discuss the matter in great detail with your lawyer. This is exactly like riding a taxi, and you are raising the bill by taking the longest route around town.


• Money can still be recovered, but not time. The time you spent in warfare will leave its marks on you. If you look at all those glamorous tabloid crowd, you will notice that none of them looks better after a messy divorce. You could have invested this time on your career, on children, on property, on holidaying, or even on falling in love again. Human life is terribly precious; it cannot be wasted in the court room. The time of the court is precious too. You are holding up the court with your arguments, and this time could have benefited so many other people who actually need justice to help them get their lives back in shape.


• If you have children, then a messy divorce case is the worst idea you have had in years. No matter how well-behaved, understanding, or quiet they are, they hate every minute of it. They probably hate you too for causing this pain to them. Children take comments by others more to heart than you do, and have a sharper and more detailed memory. Would you want to be remembered by them as villains for the rest of your lives?


• The emotional complications that it will create in you are also great. Like a sharp wound, you may not feel it at the time being, but will realize what ravages you have wrought for yourself only when it is too late. It is tough enough to pick up the thread and go on after any divorce. Don’t make it worse for yourself by dragging on with it.


• Do you enjoy being gossiped about? Then, this is the best opportunity for you. But you probably will start hating every moment of it soon enough. So if you do not want to be the greatest talking point at office, and can do without the advice of your friendly neighbour, just avoid the big noise yourself.
  
• You are not teaching your partner a lesson through it. Gulp down the foolishness of your ego. Both of you are adults, and it is better if you stick to being so. Teaching a child may work, but you are not equipped to teach your partner anything by cutting yourself to the bone.

Article Source: http://www.myaddirectory.com

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk

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