Help! My Child Has Been Kicked Out of School!

Once again the British press is full of discussion about children misbehaving in school. And once again the main solution seems to be "exclude the troublemakers from the classroom".

This time, however, the latest spin on this is to make the parents stay at home to look after them, once they have been thrown out of school.

It does annoy me, this kind of nonsense! At least this time there is some talk of keeping open (and maybe even building more) special schools.

After all, if the child is not getting on well in mainstream (which, since they have just been excluded, is clearly the case), then surely the answer has to be to find a type of educational environment in which the DO get on well?

So, if your child has been kicked out for bad behavior, what do you do? Here are my thoughts on it, having been through it ourselves with our eldest:

1. You are not a bad parent because of this. Don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe your parenting skills could use some improvement, but that is the true for just about everyone. Try to be a better parent by actively searching for information through books and materials on raising kids.

2. Do not blame it all on your child's school. Your school does care for your child and maybe the mishandled education of your child is due to issues beyond their boundaries like not having enough resources or inadequate teacher training.

3. Ask for help from the local education authority (LEA). They should be able to supply an alternative learning setting for your child. You need to be persistent when you contact them, but avoid being mean. You can ask your politicians and newspapers to help you get the engine humming if you need to.

4. Be prepared to have your child move on to an alternative classroom environment. Be ready for these changes. It is a great idea to comprehend that your child needs this assistance and to take care of it now. It will be much worse in the future if you avoid dealing with your child's misbehavior.

5. Seek out help to see if your child may have a learning disability, ADHD or Asperger's syndrome. These can cause disruptions in the classroom. There is an enviroment in which children who suffer from these conditions can thrive. It is a matter of finding that environment.

6. Don't ignore or gloss over your child's behavior or kid yourself into thinking that they are a model student. You may feel like defending your child and think that everyone is incorrect about his behavior. It is more productive to acknowledge that there might be a problem and work with help from the LEA to resolve the issue.

Well, that's just a few quick thoughts about it.

Hope that is of some help to you, if you are struggling with this at home. And, if you are an educator, please don't be one of the ones that keeps trotting out that nonsense about excluding children as being the solution! It helps no one, and solves no problems.

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