Gaslighting: Stirring Up Doubt

Here's a great example of a powerful strategy called gaslighting and how to use it in your persuasive situations with the affluent...

I was channel surfing a few nights ago and came across an old episode of M*A*S*H, the one where BJ is bored and decides to make some fun at Winchester's expense.

BJ, the prankster, while Winchester is out, takes a pair of his pants and replaces them with a pair several sizes too large. When Winchester changes into them, BJ is there and casually makes a comment that he's looking sick and that maybe he's got a virus or worse.

After a while, BJ changes out Winchester's pants again, this time for a much smaller pair, and when Winchester puts on this pair, BJ is quick to comment on how much weight Winchester has gained which sends the vain Winchester into a frenzy, prompting him to go on a strict diet.

Hawkeye, having observed the interactions, asks BJ, "What's next?"

To which BJ responds, "Tomorrow he gets taller."

BJ's prank is a perfect illustration of gaslighting. He, of course, was engaged in a harmless prank. Yet gaslighting has a very nefarious potential. And the main reason I'm writing about it is so that if you find yourself at the receiving end of this technique, you'll know how to protect yourself.

It's important to me that as you read this, you understand that the persuasion techniques I teach must be used with integrity. I've learned the hard way that when they are employed for unethical purposes, there's the very real potential for a world of hurt for all involved.

From the 1944 film Gaslight the term "gaslighting" acquired the meaning of ruthlessly manipulating an individual into believing something other than the truth.

In 'Gaslighting' the husband tries to convince his wife that she's insane so that she'll have to be institutionalized, thus getting her out of his way. His subtle manipulations cause her to doubt her own grasp on reality.

Understanding and influencing how your affluent prospect interprets their reality is an integral part of persuasion.

The technique of gaslighting has five main strategies.

The first way to employ this strategy is through the use of repetitive questioning. When you do this, you plant seeds of doubt in the mind of the person you're trying to influence.

You can see this tactic used on game shows, where the host will ask the contestant, "Are you sure? How sure are you? Is this your final answer?" This supposedly (though I can't see it) raises the level of anticipation and sometimes causes the contestant to doubt themselves.

With only a word, this can be accomplished. "Really?" The body language used can be a cock of the head and a raised eyebrow. This is all it takes to install in the recipient that maybe they should be in doubt.

It works all the better if you come off as having their best interest in mind.

The second strategy used in gaslighting is to point out things that aren't there.

This is a particularly useful strategy in undermining a sense of reality. On the flip side, this can be used just as effectively in pointing out a person's assets and qualities, especially if the person has no idea that this quality exists within them (and even if it doesn't actually exist within them).

Appealing to someone's sense of ego and vanity is one way to use this. Think of former bosses or clients or prospects or authority figures, whose egos needed massaging. This is a form of gaslighting.

If the ego massage is completely without merit and the compliments are baseless, then you'll most likely be discovered. Use subtlety with tiny portions of reality.

The third strategy may be employed by various professionals, experts and/or authority figures. For example, a therapist (or minister, or pychic, or doctor) has specialized or divine access to unseeable information about you - deep, mysterious information that only they know how to reveal and which gives them "the answer" that you seek.

This will cause lowered defenses and a more trusting feeling from the client.

The fourth strategy is to reveal the secret thoughts of others.

This is also known as gossip. It's a special kind of gossip which maneuvers in an attempt to give insight. It's just between 'us', it's from me, someone who cares enough to tell you what other people are saying. . .

It helps to install positive behavior. Encouragement and praise are more powerful than derision and destruction.

The final strategy employed in gaslighting is to use the mighty power of the many against the fragile power of the one.

Kids do this all the time. It's employed in politics, religion, and suburbia, through the media, the educational system, and society-at-large in varying degrees.

It's a group think straight out of 1984.

It's powerful to have 'the many' on your side, and very difficult to maintain your position when you're up against the many.

Gaslighting isn't nice. It's designed to trick people into self-doubt. And yet, there are positive ways it can be used.

Article Source: http://www.myaddirectory.com

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of wealthy clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.

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