Are You Capable Of Love?

Can you imagine a marriage without love? A marriage relationship without love would be meaningless and purposeless. How does self-love help a marriage? How do you build your capability to love your spouse?

The definition of love may vary from person to person. Love can be everything to you but may be nothing to me. To some love is compassion, to some it is care and to some others it is concern...etc. However, most of us should agree that love means one should dedicate his/her time and effort to the one he/she loves. It is especially important in a marriage. To keep a good marriage relationship, tenderness, kindness, solace and so many other nice feelings are all originated from love.

It is hard to imagine that a marriage without love. Needless to say, without love, a marriage relationship would be meaningless and purposeless. You wouldn't know what your life is all about and whom you are living for, to marry a person without love. If you want to develop a capability to love, the first step is to learn how to love yourself.

You may wonder how self-love helps your marriage. If you try yourself hard to love yourself and your other half, your attitudes and approach will be changed as well. Some certain abilities involved in the love will be extended to your spouse: you will understand the way he feels and what he needs, you will express yourself bravely without reservation, you will listen to him patiently without giving any judgment to interrupt him while he talks, you will take it as a good opportunity to improve yourself whenever he makes a criticism, you will let him to do anything he wants as long as it won't harm your relationship.

A sense of deep intimacy will be achieved between you and your spouse if only you can show the above qualities. Sometimes things are not always like what we expected since no two people can live in a world without difficulties. You will tackle it in a good way without hurting each others feelings. Your relationship with your spouse will be tightening up by this type of freedom. As a matter of fact, difficulties can strengthen your relationship instead of breaking it.

How do you build your capability to love your spouse? To love your spouse in healthy ways, you can do the following:

1. Take him as a separate human being with valid needs and emotions in life.

2.Allow him to hold his own point of view which is different than yours.

3. Be compassionate to your partner.

4.Respect each other.

5.Learn how to compromise in case of disagreement.

6.Do not try to snatch his freedom.

7.Don't try to fight back in case he disagrees.

8.Do not be demand for his attention or love. This is hard because his love and attention means a lot to you. But love never comes on demand. Instead, be patient and loving and you will be returned with love.

9.There may be occasions in life when you may do things for him just because you love him. But that only adds strength to your bonding.

A couple should treat each other with mutual respect and regard. Your policy should be that of give respect and take respect. If you do not respect your partner, how can you expect him to respect you? Mutual respect and regard would make the couple bond closer to each other. If you become aware and correct the above qualities you should be able to develop intimacy.

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